Blog - Land Basket Farm

Whose outliving us and why ? Part 1

Part 1 of a multi part - Eat better, Live Longer series that looks at us (USA) from a longevity perspective, then looks at other nations with higher longevity rates and looks for lessons and strategies to reduce risk and increase longevity. Live longer.

Big and Small

The Spring of 19 was a glorious time. Cathy and I had the house remodel behind us, having moved in just before Christmas a few months earlier. We were so excited to start working on our dreams. It was a busy time, trying to rotate sheep in half-fenced pastures. My wife was such a trooper—I’d drive posts, and she would equip herself with a bucket full of insulators, a hammer, and earbuds and take off—we were a fencing machine. Cathy and I fenced this whole farm in 2019 – me driving, her insulating and running wire. We were so excited to be doing it. At night we would crash, exhausted but fulfilled by a good day's work. I have fond memories of those days. I did not deserve a girl as good as her and truthfully didn’t realize it at the time. I realize it now. I look back on this past year with anger – anger about what life did to my bride. I long for the days of returning home from work something and having her there to kiss and say – “hey babe how was your morning”. I long to see her again. That feeling never leaves me, ever. Somedays I run into something, and the great wall of water comes raging down again….... it is so hard to believe she is no longer here – no longer beside me. It is unfathomable sometimes. That Spring and subsequent Springs thereafter - I remember thinking, “This place is not so big…. it’s not big enough – the land, the home – all of it too small. Now without Cathy with me – this place is a black hole of emptiness, and it is so big. I look out and feel swallowed by it all. With Cathy I was a giant that could gaze upon my domain with prideful dreams …………without her I feel smaller and alone – fearful of the vast emptiness that lurks in every corner. Please visit me again – feel my nostrils with your sweet scent of spice one more time. I love you and miss you Punkin' Bread.